Caffeine + Unicorn Poo

     I usually don't drink coffee. In fact until a few weeks ago, when I had to get up at five friggin' AM for work I hadn't in about three years (energy drinks just work better for me.) Long story short, I drank two big cups of iced coffee and felt great. That would have been fine, except for that afterward I drank a NoFear. I almost died. I had the giggles so bad, I felt like I was drunk, I basically had a hangover the next day.
    Two good things resulted from this, not falling asleep at work and me drawing a picture of a unicorn pooping cupcakes.
   Which really got me thinking; What do unicorns poop? Cupcakes? Glitter? Sunshine and rainbows? I mean really, if you google unicorn poop you get pictures of glittery rainbow goo, but I'm inclined to believe that they may poop cupcakes too. Do they fart rainbows? Unlike what my mother claims about her farts I bet their farts actually do smell like roses. Although I feel it would be rather inappropriate to sniff a unicorn's (or any magical creature's) butt. Not cool. Do they burp magic? What is the Horn for? Some say Magic, some say its a Bile duct. Perhaps it's just there to move slower creatures out of the way and gather fruit. Not sure how I feel about that. Than there is the Harry Potter Unicorn story; Their blood is sliver and has some serious healing properties/immortality mojo. Fucking Voldemort kills the unicorns to drink their blood. What an ass. Isn't there a unicorn blood bank or something?

"I Don't believe in Unicorns/Unicorns aren't real." Fuuuuck you. I don't believe in YOU. Batman isn't real. I'm just kidding, Batman is totally real.
 Ok, so I can understand why someone may be skeptical of a magical horned horse, but don't hate on me for believing. There is so much hate, destruction and death in this world, an over population of super happy loving magical creatures doesn't sound too bad.